Space
In 2018 my word of the year was Balance. I came upon it easily, and thought about it only occasionally through the year. At the time it felt like I needed it. Due to injury I was absolutely forced to slow down! It was easy to pick that word since it was a requirement if I wanted to be well.
Until yesterday I was feeling out of sorts about a word of the year and resolutions. My yoga practice for January has a themed word for every session and yesterday the word was SPACE. As in, “Take up space. Use your space.” For whatever reason as I stretched and filled up the mat with myself something in me said, “Yes! Space! That’s the word I need.”
At first it was just a little seed of a word-
SPACE
Bopping around in the recesses of my mind, slowly growing. When I whispered the word to myself I pictured my arms and legs flinging wide, breathing in and out deeply with my gut and letting my belly expand. It was a refreshing and bizarre image to me. As a woman and an introvert it is my nature to do the opposite; to stand back with my arms crossed, shrink down and take up as little space as possible until I am absolutely sure I am safe and comfortable. Safety and comfort don’t take up space. They curl up next to a fire with a warm blanket. Sure, sometimes, especially in the Minnesota winter, that comfort is good, but too much of anything though… you know, balance…
When I think of space I also imagine my son, Iver, at the age of 3. At that sweet age he had no concept of personal space. He was always right on top of us and sometimes it would get to be a bit much for the rest of the family. We’d gently say, “Hey buddy, can you give a little space?” His response? He would shout the word “SPAAaaaacccceee” loudly in a monotone as he pressed in closer. The kindest interpretation I can imagine was he thought he was giving us HIS space.
What does that mean in the context of my year? SPACE for me means:
1. Taking up the space needed to be more, to be BRAVE in word or deed, flinging my arms wide. This will mean trying things I may not be good at right away and not shying away from how that may look.
2. My own version of Iver’s Space: leaning into others for WISDOM (asking permission first) and GIVING my own space to those who need it, especially when I might otherwise choose the comfort of retreat.
Being brave,
seeking wisdom,
giving to others.
I realize those are pretty broad goals. Like the opposite of what efficiency experts might say work best for goal setting, but so what? I’m looking at it all in the same way the word SPACE came to me, first as a seed rattling around and now a new sprout, slow and steady taking up space and growing like it should. If I can refine and hone this concept of space over the course of the next year it’s bound to burst into full bloom.